What curses did Alice carry? Such an astute question. I hadn’t read Munro’s comments til reading our Alice’s writing. Dysfunction begets more dysfunction unless treated.
I thought of Wallace Stegner and the plagiarism allegations against the man who taught creative writing at Stanford and wrote so many books I loved. Stealing the words of another. Precious words. Theft of pieces of a creative mind.
That Munro would betray her own daughter is unthinkable. Yet, how does the jealousy come into it when the husband wants the step daughter in lieu of the wife. Complicated, deeply flawed but how?
In an interview, Alice Munro confirmed that her father hit her with a belt when she was growing up. She said, "It was very terrifying and destructive. I feel that I was an unworthy person, and that's what it makes you feel." She followed this by saying, "There just wasn't time or money to bring up children in a way that took account of their needs -- why they were behaving a certain way." Alas, even brilliant people are prone to the repetition compulsion, which is itself a kind of curse.
Curses. An apt word, and curses run in families. Another revered Alice, the psychotherapist Alice Miller, wrote a groundbreaking book on parental narcissism and was cursed by it herself, abusing her son for many years before she eventually apologized. Children not allowed to be themselves for fear of disappointing or upsetting a parent are at risk of making the same tragic mistake.
Everything okay, Alice? Haven't seen a post from you for a bit (I miss them!) but I know the school year is gearing up.
Hope all is well.
Thank you for asking. I'm starting up again in September!
💙
What curses did Alice carry? Such an astute question. I hadn’t read Munro’s comments til reading our Alice’s writing. Dysfunction begets more dysfunction unless treated.
I thought of Wallace Stegner and the plagiarism allegations against the man who taught creative writing at Stanford and wrote so many books I loved. Stealing the words of another. Precious words. Theft of pieces of a creative mind.
That Munro would betray her own daughter is unthinkable. Yet, how does the jealousy come into it when the husband wants the step daughter in lieu of the wife. Complicated, deeply flawed but how?
In an interview, Alice Munro confirmed that her father hit her with a belt when she was growing up. She said, "It was very terrifying and destructive. I feel that I was an unworthy person, and that's what it makes you feel." She followed this by saying, "There just wasn't time or money to bring up children in a way that took account of their needs -- why they were behaving a certain way." Alas, even brilliant people are prone to the repetition compulsion, which is itself a kind of curse.
Curses. An apt word, and curses run in families. Another revered Alice, the psychotherapist Alice Miller, wrote a groundbreaking book on parental narcissism and was cursed by it herself, abusing her son for many years before she eventually apologized. Children not allowed to be themselves for fear of disappointing or upsetting a parent are at risk of making the same tragic mistake.
Thank you thought provoking. It’s been hard to process
I know. There should be a spell to banish those voices and lift those curses.
There are spells. There are therapies. There is all manner of Help. But recognizing the sentences as curses goes a long way.
Narcissism